Category Archives: marriage counseling

Marriage Counseling in Hackensack NJ

Marital counseling in Hackensack NJ

Marriage counseling in Hackensack NJ

Marriage counseling in Hackensack NJ

What does it take to have a successful marriage? No two people agree on the exact recipe, but among other things, it takes love and respect. Unfortunately, there are many divorced couples who did love and respect each other. Clearly, more is needed sometimes. And that’s when we at Mars & Venue are here to offer the necessary help. Our marriage counseling in Hackensack NJ is done by experienced professionals who can act as impartial listeners and help to guide both of you into a stronger and more long-lasting relationship.

The stresses and pressures of marriage include everything from your jobs to dealing with family, dividing chores and marital responsibilities, and raising your kids (if any). Furthermore, agreeing on things as seemingly trivial as what to eat for dinner, what to watch on TV, where to go on vacation, and what kind of car to buy is not always easy. Our marriage counseling in Hackensack NJ is not about creating perfect situations. No such things exist. There will always be disagreement and discord in marriages. The keys are how you communicate that with each other. Often, marital difficulties arise when one or both spouses begin to see each other as the enemy or the source of their unhappiness, instead of seeing each other as a partner and the one to increase happiness and satisfaction in life. With our marriage counseling in Hackensack NJ, you can begin to work together to solve problems, build common ground, and seek to find bridges rather than putting up walls between the two of you.

Your spouse was important enough for you to marry, and they are important enough to work on strengthening the marriage. The proof is your willingness to come in for counseling. Call us right now and schedule an appointment for the two of you to come in.

691 Cedar Lane
Teaneck, New Jersey 07666
(201) 467-4173

Marriage Therapist Waldwick

Marriage Therapy in Waldwick

Marriage Therapist Waldwick

Marriage Therapist Waldwick

If you are looking for an excellent marriage therapist who can provide you with effective and successful marriage therapy, you should contact us at Mars & Venus. Our center’s Director and Co-Director are Richard Drobnick and Morrisa Drobnick. When you need the services of an excellent marriage therapist Waldwick, you should contact us at our practice, and we know we can provide you with the help that you and your spouse need to have a more successful marriage.

At our counseling center, we provide individual and couples therapy. Our marriage therapist Waldwick can help you and your spouse improve your marriage in many ways. At our counseling center, we use the book “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus,” as the basis for our couples work. The basis of this book is that men and women are different in many ways, and the difficult goal should be to learn to communicate more effectively with each other. It is not natural for men and women to understand things using the same language, so our therapist can help our couples learn to communicate better with each other. The author of the book, Dr. John Gray, has developed a complete clinical approach to couples counseling. This is the systematic approach that is used here at our counseling center. Our therapists have been licensed by Dr. John Great to successfully provide this service. Through our marriage counseling, you will learn how to better understand, respect, and honor the differences between yourself and your partner. During our marriage therapy you will learn not only what your needs are, but what your partner’s needs are, and how you can each successfully meet your partner’s needs. We also will work so that you and your partner can improve your communication skills so that your relationship can heal and grow.

For an appointment to meet with our marriage therapist Waldwick, simply contact us today for an appointment.

Mars & Venus
691 Cedar Lane
Teaneck, New Jersey 07666
(201) 467-4173

Teaneck Licensed Marriage And Family Therapist

Marriage Therapy in Teaneck

Teaneck Licensed Marriage And Family Therapist

Teaneck Licensed Marriage And Family Therapist

There’s no denying that you’re both madly in love with each other. But unfortunately, the two of you have been experiencing some rocky times—to say the least. In fact, you can barely remember the last time you didn’t have a world-shaking fight. And it’s starting to feel like if things don’t improve (and fast), love might not be enough to salvage your relationship. In that case, don’t skip on a visit to Mars & Venus to meet with a Teaneck Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.

Why seek out a therapist? No matter how much you try to work through things your own, there’s always going to be a level of bias with how you approach problems in a relationship. After all, most people don’t like accepting things about themselves and fight tooth and nail to deny it. What a therapist provides is an objective eye who can assess and evaluate your relationship thoroughly, taking all of that information and devising a plan of action for you and your spouse. Some of the factors a therapist can help identify include: hidden expectations, relationship patterns, intensions, possibilities, consequences of actions and words, and subconscious beliefs. Each of these combine for an explosive cocktail that tears a relationship to pieces. Or sometimes it functions like a venom that seeps in and slowly erodes it. Whichever the case, seek out a Teaneck Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist as soon as possible. You’ll find many of those at Mars & Venus.

Don’t fret—there is still hope for the two of you. And through a mutually committed effort, both of you can return to the days of old when you woke up blissfully next to each other, happy to be partners in this journey called life. Shoot Mars & Venus a phone call and schedule an appointment to meet with our Teaneck Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.

Mars & Venus
691 Cedar Lane
Teaneck, New Jersey 07666
(201) 467-4173

Couples Counseling in Teaneck

Teaneck NJ Couples Counselor

At Mars & Venus, couples counseling in Teaneck is offered to support those in a relationship who may be considering separation, or seeking improved intimacy and understanding.  Although your relationship is the main focus in couples counseling, you should also expect to focus on self-awareness and self-improvement.  Our relationship experts recommend couples counseling for various reasons, including power struggles and communication problems, infidelity, and sexual dissatisfaction.  Although we recommend counseling as soon as discontent is felt in your relationship, recent studies have shown that on average, partners won’t seek therapy until they have been unhappy for at least six years.  Yet, the more time that has passed, the more difficult it may be to actually repair the relationship.  In some cases, we see couples who have already made the decision to separate, and are pursuing therapy in order to end the relationship respectfully and amicably.

Our effective couples counseling in Teaneck will address many aspects of your relationship, although communication tends to be the main focus of relationship therapy.  When you consistently engage in conflict avoidance, or take on heated power struggles, communication problems are the result, resentment builds, and repairs are never made.  Research has shown that the lack of adequate repair following an argument, is the biggest contributor to marital unhappiness and divorce.  Our well-educated counselors know that one of the first steps in improving your relationship is to teach both partners how to regulate their emotions, stay calm, and use healthy communication skills in order to resolve new and old problems.

Successful couples counseling in Teaneck depends on each partner’s motivation and dedication to the process.  Through this process, you can expect to become better listeners and communicators, as well as find new ways to support each other.  Specific goals will be established by the couple under the expert guidance of our therapist.  In order to achieve these objectives, you should both be prepared to not only acknowledge, but understand your particular role in your relationship. It is not uncommon for conflict to arise within counseling sessions, but our ethical therapists strive to remain neutral and avoid taking sides.  Many couples see their communication improved as a result of couples counseling.

Couples Counselor Teaneck
691 Cedar Lane
Teaneck, New Jersey 07666
(201) 467-4173

Assuming the Positive with Your Partner in Bergen County, Northern NJ

You give your favorite politicians the benefit of the doubt—why not your partner?

The political season is upon us—whether we like it or not—and, if we are like most people, we will tend to favor one political party, candidate, or political view over another. If our party or candidate has a particular stand on the economy, foreign affairs, healthcare, same sex relationships, etc., we believe that they are correct. Whenever our party or candidate takes a position, we tend to support it completely and loudly profess the other point of view as misguided thinking.

Even if our political party or candidate does something questionable, we will find ways to immediately defend them. We will hunt down any reason that our preferred political analysts will conjure up to make what they said or did seem okay. We will say that the other side has made far stupider mistakes, is far less experienced in these important matters, is ethically challenged, or that our party’s problems were inherited. We may even exclaim that the political strategy is misunderstood because it’s ahead of its time and, therefore, brilliant. We are quick to put our party or candidate in a positive light, assume the best in our party or candidate, and give them the benefit of the doubt. Such is the art and science of the political spin.

How different it is in with our partners! What we normally do with politics is the exact opposite of what we do in our relationships. How far more likely is it for us to be critical, hurt or resentful when our partners do something we dislike. We walk around thinking about what our partner did and what was wrong about it. We are quick to see him or her in a negative light and put a negative spin on everything they do or say. Imagine how much happier we would be if we can put a political spin on what our partners do in our relationships as quickly as we do with our political party or candidates.

Negative Spin: He doesn’t like to share his feelings with me.
Political Spin: He likes to get right to the point as a way to help me. He prefers to show me that he loves me in non-verbal ways.

Negative Spin: He never spends any time with me! He’s bored with me.
Political Spin: He is working hard to provide for us. He loves me. I am so appreciative of all he does for us.

Negative Spin: There she goes again—nag, nag, nag.
Political Spin: She is helping me remember and keeping me organized so I can focus on other things. She has my back.

Negative Spin: She’s always telling me what to do or say. She doesn’t trust me.
Political Spin: She does trust me. It’s just her way of being supportive and trying to make things easier for me by sharing information she believes will get good results.

Whatever your partner says or does, put a political spin on it. See their actions or words only in a positive light. When you put your partner only in a positive light, you don’t get defensive. You don’t get angry. You don’t assume they are disrespecting you, that they don’t care about you or that they are not interested in you.

Try to listen to and understand them from the belief that “I know my partner loves me, and I know my partner wants the best for me.” You will be amazed at how your feelings toward your partner become much more calming and reassuring. When we can put a political spin on what our partner does in a relationship and assume the positive in every act or word, we will have a much better relationship.

Share this information with your partner. Both of you practice the above strategy. Challenge yourselves: How can you turn your partner’s negative into a positive? Continue to do this and, on election night, give each other a great victory speech.

Richard Drobnick, LCSW, DCSW is the director of the Mars & Venus Counseling Center. Contact us if you feel stuck and need professional help to create the relationships of your dreams.

Child Rearing in Allendale, Bergen County, NJ

Morrisa Drobnick, LCSW, staff writer and advice columnist of “KIDS Magazine,” answers the following:

Q. I thought my husband would be different as a parent. I find myself disappointed in him a lot of the time. We seem to approach all aspects of parenting from different sides. We need some help on making this a partnership.

A. No matter how well-grounded a marriage is, disappointment can easily emerge in the transition to parenthood.

It’s important for you and your spouse to treat your different parenting styles as assets. Make sure you both communicate. When you feel tension, discuss it right away. Don’t let anger linger. Be easy on yourself and each other. Try to remember you are in this together. Enjoy your children together. Watch your spouse laugh and have fun with your children. Just as children grow, so does your relationship.

The child rearing years can be the biggest challenge to your partnership. If you make peace with this reality of parenting, you may unexpectedly find that you get your wish.

Mars & Venus Counseling Center is always here for you. Call us at 201-692-0508.

 

 

15 Tips to Prepare Siblings for the Baby’s Arrival

15 Tips to Prepare Siblings for the Baby’s Arrival – Bergen County, Northern, NJ
By Morrisa Drobnick, LCSW

The amount and time of preparation for a new baby depends upon whether your child likes to look forward to things or gets too impatient if told about things too soon. Do, however, start as soon as the child is able to recognize the pregnancy.

The following 15 tips are offered to help in the preparation of your child(ren) for this important event.

1. Present the new baby from a child’s point of view. Discuss that babies are cute, but they can also be a lot of trouble. They cry a lot, mess their diapers, spit up, and smell bad. They demand a lot of attention because they must be fed, bathed, diapered, etc. If and when the child feels left out or jealous, encourage him to go to you and talk about it. Let them know that you understand that it’s not easy to share.

2. If a move to a new room or bed is needed, do this as early as possible in the pregnancy, so the child has less reason to feel “shoved out” when the baby arrives.

3. Let the child share by participating in discussions of how the baby will be cared for, what things he will need, where he will sleep, etc. Let him help get things ready for the new baby. Include the child on shopping expeditions for baby. Whenever possible, let him pick out things for the baby.

4. Show the child picture books about new babies and, if possible, visit in a home that has an infant, so that he realizes this is not going to be an instant playmate.

5. Talk with the child about the advantages of either sex and the unpredictability of this, so he won’t have his heart set on one or the other.

6. Take the child along on at least one visit to the doctor’s office for a prenatal visit. Let him hear the baby’s heartbeat, for instance.

7. Tell the child about Mom and Dad’s going to the hospital in the middle of day or night, and that this is part of the unpredictability of a baby’s birth. He needs to know who will be caring for him at that time and during the remainder of the hospital stay.

8. Whenever possible, let children to visit Mom and the new baby while they are still in the hospital. Phoning frequently will also be a tremendous help.

9. It’s a good idea to have a present (a new doll is ideal) to give to your child when you bring the new baby home from the hospital.

10. When friends come to call, encourage them to include the older child in the excitement as well. Let the child show the baby off to the company if he likes to.

11. Allow even the youngest child to hold the baby. This can be done sitting on the floor with carpet or a blanket, in the middle of the bed, or in a large stuffed chair. Also, allow him to help to whatever extent he can – fetching diapers, bottle, etc.

12. Father can help a great deal by spending time with the older child first when he gets home from work.

13. Mothers, too, should remember to spend precious alone time with older child as often as possible.

14. Jealousy may be expressed indirectly by showing too much concern and affection for the baby, refusing to go to school, demanding Mom’s attention, exhibiting naughty behavior, not eating, not sleeping, or by loss of toilet training, etc. Or, it may be expressed quite openly by a preschooler’s physical attacks on the baby. For this reason, it is best never to leave them alone together!

15. Be careful not to impose on an older sibling by turning him into a constant babysitter or by giving him responsibilities concerning the baby that are beyond his capabilities.

Stress and the Need for Counseling in Bergen County

• Do you feel constantly stressed out and on edge?
• Or are you tired of your partner having a short fuse with you?
• Is stress negatively affecting your relationships?
• Are you constantly arguing?
• Are you feeling tired and fatigued all the time?
• Are you having difficulty falling and staying asleep?
• Is stress making you sick?
• Are you having trouble concentrating?
• Are you moody and irritable much of time?
• Do you experience constant stress?

Imagine what it would be like if you understood how to better cope with stress, and how to help the other cope with stress more effectively as well. How would it feel to have a warm, loving and supportive relationship with your partner once again? To not be anxious all the time or to feel like you are walking on eggshells? How would it feel to be in a relationship in which you truly felt supported and understood? This doesn’t have to live only in your imagination. It can be your reality. You can have a less stressful life and a more satisfying relationship.

When you need professional counseling for stress and anxiety, please contact us at the Mars & Venus Counseling Center.